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Book Review: When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder is a Must-Read

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In the book When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder: Practical Strategies to Help Your Teen Recover from Anorexia, Bulimia, and Binge Eating, author Dr. Lauren Muhlheim discusses eating disorders and their treatment in great depth.

If you think your child or teen has an eating disorder this is a must read.

Eating disorders can perplex many parents and clinicians alike. Your teen may not be acting like their usual self, and it’s hard to know if this is just normal teenage angst or something more serious. If your teen has an eating disorder, they may have changed greatly right before your eyes: refusing food, feeling anxious around eating, or experiencing changes in mood and energy.

You may have tried several times to talk with them about the importance of eating and try to reassure them that they are not gaining weight. (In fact, they are likely losing weight.) But, your child’s struggles seem to be getting worse not better.

If your teen has not seen a doctor yet about their eating disorder this is the first step to make sure they are medically stable.

This book can help guide you and your family in treatment while establishing an eating disorder treatment team consisting, at minimum, of a doctor and therapist.

About the Book

When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder discusses the complicated concepts surrounding eating disorders in teens in a non-clinical manner, so it can be more easily understood. The book provides helpful information about eating disorders, an overview of various treatment options, and goes into depth about a unique and well-studied treatment called Family-Based Treatment (FBT).

The author of the book, Dr. Lauren Mulheim, owns a counseling and training center in southern California called Eating Disorder Therapy LA. She uses Family-Based Treatment in her clinic and has been instrumental in training many of the eating disorder therapists in the Los Angeles area and beyond. She is currently serving on the advisory panel of FEAST (an organization providing support to families of those impacted by eating disorders) and is a regular speaker at national eating disorder conferences.

If you are a parent worried about your child and unsure how to help them overcome their eating disorder, or a clinician wanting to learn more about FBT, this book is a must-read. As an eating disorder therapist myself, I recommend this book to all of the families that I work with and to other clinicians. It will be a great resource and provide a glimmer of hope to you on your journey.

What is discussed in When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder?

When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder outlines the complexities of eating disorders and the impact that they can have on your teen (and your family’s) life.

A thorough list of the early warning signs of an eating disorder are discussed. These warning signs include:

  • Changes in eating and/or exercise habits
  • Frequent trips to the bathroom
  • Changes in body weight
  • Loss of menstrual cycle
  • Complaining of of feeling cold all of the time
  • Lack of growth
  • Obsessive thoughts about food, body image
  • Changes in overall mood
  • Poorer concentration

Muhlheim highlights the importance of early detection and intervention with trained clinicians, so that the eating disorder can be addressed before it escalates or becomes chronic.

Dr. Muhlheim provides the reader with an excellent explanation of how malnourishment impacts your teen’s ability to understand how the eating disorder is impacting their mind and body. Parents often feel perplexed when their bright, loving child begins to act irrationally around food. Parents will also learn how to separate their child from their illness, one of the basic assumptions of family-based treatment.

The majority of the book really gets to the heart of the matter: What parents really want to know when their child has an eating disorder. You might be asking yourself questions like “What do we do?” or, “How do we improve our child or teens’ health and get them feeling better again?”

This book can help you answer those questions. In it, Mulheim:

  • Outlines the path to help your child or teen heal from their eating disorder using family based treatment (FBT). Parents will then learn what the path to recovery from an eating disorder looks like using Family-Based Treatment.
  • Discusses the three stages of recovery-nutrition rehabilitation, eating independence and relapse prevention-in depth.
  • Provides parents rationale behind each step so parents can feel empowered to help their child.

Discover Practical and Helpful Tools to Help Your Teen in Eating Disorder Recovery

This book is a practical guide that provides effective, concrete strategies for eating disorder treatment, and examples of how to use them.

Muhlheim helps parents become empowered agents of change amid their child’s eating disorder. The book provides general guidelines about what to feed your child and how to structure meal times. It also highlights how to effectively interact with your child at each stage of treatment, and how to be empathetic with them when they are struggling.

Not only does this book share concrete strategies and practical steps, it also covers the challenges that parents might face during treatment. The book details what to do when your child refuses to eat. It also explains how the parents can get support throughout the difficult journey of helping their child get better. This helps parents know about the hard aspects of treatment they should expect beforehand, so that they are prepared.

Muhlheim provides all of this information while also sharing real-life examples throughout the book. The stories within this book help parents feel less alone about what is going on with their child. It also provides them with a realistic picture of what they are facing. These examples make parents feel more confident about applying the practical tools needed for recovery.

It is normal for parents to worry about how treatment will affect their relationship with their teen. When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder emphasizes the importance of your relationship with your teen in the treatment of their eating disorder.  It talks about how to further develop a family culture of unconditional acceptance and respect and focuses on the importance of trust, empathy, and understanding to support your child in their recovery. Furthermore, it provides the reader with strategies of how to talk to their teen about food and body image during the recovery process.

When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder is a Great Resource For Parents

Whether your teen is struggling with anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder, this book is helpful for parents. This book will help you if your child is newly diagnosed with an eating disorder, in early stages of treatment, or if your teen has been through several rounds of treatment already.

This book will empower you to support your child’s recovery. If you are seeking treatment for your child, it will give you enough information to decide whether or not Family Based Treatment is right for your family. If you decide that FBT is the best treatment option, this book walks you through how to create a treatment team that will be the best fit for your child and family.

As a therapist and parent, I appreciate how this book (and FBT in general), takes a very non-blaming stance on eating disorders. Parents aren’t faulted for the disorder and the child isn’t isolated from their family. This book recognizes the family-based treatment approach and belief that parents are the experts on their child. It emphasizes how treatment for eating disorders needs to include the family for best results and also the importance of meal support and nutritional rehabilitation for recovery. I highly recommend reading this book!

If you think your teen has an eating disorder please consult their doctor for assessment and medical care as eating disorders can be life threatening. If you are a parent and are interested in family-based treatment for your child in Texas, you can schedule a consultation with me here.

If you are a clinician looking for a book that can help you understand eating disorders and family-based treatment, you can get CEU’s for reading this book by clicking here.

*Please note this book is not a substitute for professional help from a doctor and eating disorder treatment professionals.
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Finding Support as the Parent of a Child with an Eating Disorder

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It’s not easy to be a parent or caregiver for someone who is struggling with an eating disorder, at any age.

Parenthood is often described as having your heart walk around outside of your body, so watching your child struggle with such a complicated disorder can be heartbreaking. It’s scary to feel like your child needs help beyond what you can give.

Eating disorders don’t go away without being treated. It is essential for your child to begin treatment for their eating disorder so they can get relief from the distress they are feeling.

As a parent or caregiver, you are an important pillar of support for your child as they go through eating disorder recovery.

Eating disorders are complicated, and we often don’t learn much about them until someone we know is dealing with one. Much of the ‘common knowledge’ out there about eating disorders are actually myths, like that eating disorders only affect teen girls or that they’re not that serious. Eating disorders don’t discriminate by age or gender- anyone can develop an eating disorder. In fact, a common risk factor for developing an eating disorder is a history of dieting.

As the caregiver of someone with an eating disorder, you naturally want to do what you can to help your child through this. Learning more about eating disorders can help you understand what your child is going through, and connecting with other caregivers can give you an opportunity to feel supported yourself. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Here are some resources for caregivers of children with eating disorders:

Eating Disorder Books For Caregivers:

The following books give practical strategies for families supporting their loved one with an eating disorder. They are all using a family-based treatment (FBT) approach to treating an eating disorder.

Family-based treatment empowers the family to help support their child through nutritonal rehabilitation and eating disorder behaviors.

Support Groups + Other Resources for Caregivers

Here are a list of support groups for caregivers. Many families find it helpful to learn that they are not alone in their struggle.

FEAST Resources

Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment for Eating Disorders (Feast) is a non-profit that supports caregivers and loved ones with eating disorders. FEAST provides free support to caregivers around the world:

  • FEAST’s First 30 Days Educational Service
    • Information delivered right to your inbox on how to care for your loved one.
    • “We want to change the course of a family’s caregiving journey in 30 days. These 30 days of lessons are meant to start the family on a new course of empowerment and good information. Over the 30 days you will learn about eating disorders, caregiving, and the resources available for ongoing learning. We will introduce you to the resources and the peer support of our worldwide community.
  • Forums to get support from other caregivers
    • “This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.”
  • Webinar Series that frequently feature leading researchers and experienced clinicians in the field.
  • FEAST’s Parents Do Not Cause Eating Disorders Info Page
      • This statement may seem obvious, but it is the sad history of eating disorder treatment that parents are sometimes still blamed or feel blamed when a loved one develops an eating disorder. For those families suffering from guilt, from feeling blamed, or unsure of who to believe on this topic, here are some things to keep in mind.”

Are you looking for more ways to support your child as they recover from their eating disorder? Working with a treatment team is the gold-standard for eating disorder recovery, as eating disorders impact health in many ways, from physical to mental health.

Part of a treatment team for eating disorders is a psychotherapist. For more information on how I can help, send me a message.

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Parents: An Essential Part Of Eating Disorder Treatment

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To all the parents out there: you are an important part of your child’s eating disorder treatment team! This is true even if your child is no longer a child, but a young adult or an adult. Even if you don’t live with your child, you have an important role to play in eating disorder recovery. 

Why are parents + caregivers so important in eating disorder recovery? 

Therapists, doctors, and dietitians are must-haves on any eating disorder treatment team. But parents have an important role to play too! Here are a few reasons why parents are important in the recovery process:

  • You spend much more time with your child than the treatment team does. As a therapist, I may spend one to two hours a week with your kiddo, you spend dozens of hours!
  • You are usually involved in feeding or making sure that your teen is fed.
  • You have a relationship with them. They trust and love you. If you are a parent of a teen, I know it may not always feel like it, but it is true!
  • You know your child better than anyone else!

Where do eating disorders come from?

Eating disorders are thought to function as a way to cope with uncomfortable feelings. Feeling distressing emotions is, well, distressing. Eating disorders often develop as a coping mechanism to avoid feeling those painful feelings. It’s possible to learn new ways to cope to manage those distressing feelings. 

As a parent, you can learn tools to help your child manage their feelings without using the eating disorder to cope.

When you hear this you may feel like a deer caught in the headlights. 

  • You may be thinking, “Yeah right! I can’t even get through a conversation with my teen without it turning into a fight.” 
  • Or maybe you’re thinking, “I can’t get them to say more than a few words to me.” 
  • You may even be throwing your arms up in exasperation because your kiddo is in total denial of their eating disorder.

If your child has an eating disorder, you may be feeling a range of emotions all of which are okay. You might feel anger, worry, sadness, resentment, disbelief, panic, and hopelessness, to name a few. And you may be feeling no way equipped to help your child recover from an eating disorder, but you are wrong.

Historically, parents weren’t always involved, and at times even discouraged to participate, in the treatment of eating disorders. In recent years, we are learning that parents can be a really powerful tool in their kid’s recovery process. This holds true not just for eating disorders, but for all mental health conditions. Parents have an important role to play! 

Parents often blame themselves or feel responsible for their child’s eating disorder.

I haven’t met a parent or loved one who doesn’t want what is best for their loved one – to be happy and live a productive, healthy life.

Let me be clear: you are not to blame for your child’s eating disorder. 

Eating disorders are complex. They develop for a variety of different reasons including social, biological, and psychological factors. For example, did you know that being a girl or a history of dieting are risk factors for developing an eating disorder?

As an eating disorder therapist + dietitian, I encourage parents to focus less on why their child has an eating disorder, and more on eliminating the eating disorder. 

For example, if your child developed cancer you would spend less thought on why she got it, but more on getting her good treatment.

While you are not to blame for your child’s eating disorder, you certainly can be part of the treatment and solution. Often, parents don’t feel equipped to help their children recover. Parenting is hard, and parenting a teen with an eating disorder has a unique set of challenges. 

You are right you may not have the eating disorder knowledge (yet!) to help. But, you do have a special connection and bond with your child that is so powerful in the treatment of eating disorders.

Some parents report that their kids don’t want help for their eating disorder, or even that they are in denial about their eating disorder. Certainly, this feels like it is true, but it is not. 

Remember eating disorders are a way for your child to cope with discomfort. Yep that’s right – just like their lovey or security blanket that they had as a kiddo! The disorder is serving a purpose, even if it’s not a healthy way to cope. Since the disorder is filling a need, it might seem like on the surface, your child doesn’t want to acknowledge or deal with it. However, living with an eating disorder can be a miserable existence. Your child deserves better!

Now that I have (hopefully) convinced you that you are an important part of your teens recovery, you may be asking yourself how do I help my teen? 

Here are a few tips to get you started.

  1. Get educated about eating disorders. Here are specific resources for parents.
  2. Make sure that your teen has a complete treatment team.
  3. Verbalize to your teen that while you don’t have all the answers, eating disorders are serious mental health conditions, treatment is needed, and that you are going to be there every step of the way to support them.

Are you looking for more ways to support your child as they navigate eating disorder recovery? Please feel free to book a free 15 minute phone call with me to learn how to better support your teen as they navigate an eating disorder.