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The Power of Validation: Supporting Your Child Through Eating Disorder Recovery

The Power of Validation: Supporting Your Child Through Eating Disorder Recovery

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Is your teen struggling with an eating disorder?

As a parent, witnessing that struggle and feeling like nothing you say helps or wondering if you’re helping or are making things worse, can be one of the most difficult obstacles to navigate as a parent. And if you’ve felt this way, know that you are not alone. These aren’t experiences most of us know how to prepare for–there are no tools for caring for a loved one with an eating disorder in general parenting books. Unlike clinicians who go to school and receive on-going training to help people in recovery, parents have no such roadmap.

Witnessing your child struggling with an eating disorder can feel overwhelming, confusing, and deeply painful. As a parent, you naturally want to help, but knowing how to respond in the most effective way is not always intuitive. One key tool you can use to support your child’s recovery is validation–understanding what it is, why it matters, and how to practice it can make a world of difference for both your child and your family.

What Is Validation (And what it is not)?

Validation is the act of recognizing, understanding, and accepting someone’s feelings or experiences as real and meaningful.

Caregivers often worry that their validation will give their child permission to restrict food or purge–but that’s not the effect that validation has. Validating your child’s emotional experience doesn’t mean endorsing or encouraging damaging behaviors. What it does mean is that you are able to acknowledge their emotional reality without judgment. This practice lets your teen know that you are someone safe to turn to, because you will listen without assigning “right” or “wrong” to what they are feeling, and are instead there to try and understand their experience so you can better support them. Practicing validation can also be helpful for parents or caregivers in the moment because it often diffuses intense reactions you may be experiencing, and give you a moment to listen rather than react.

What validation is:

  • Actively listening and showing empathy.
  • Communicating that their feelings make sense, given their perspective.
  • Offering a safe space for them to share their struggles without fear of criticism.

What validation is not:

  • Agreeing with unhealthy behaviors or distorted beliefs about food, body, or worth.
  • Dismissing your own boundaries or enabling harmful actions.
  • Fixing their problems or trying to reason them out of their feelings.

Why Validation Is Crucial in Healing

Validation is a cornerstone of emotional healing because it helps your child feel heard, understood, and less alone. Eating disorders often thrive in silence and shame, and by validating the emotional experience your child is having, you help dismantle the isolation that fuels their struggle.

When your child feels validated, their nervous system can move out of a heightened state of stress or fear (often referred to as “fight, flight, or freeze”) into a calmer, more regulated state. This shift is essential because a regulated nervous system allows your child to:

  • Think more clearly and process emotions more effectively.
  • Develop healthy coping mechanisms.
  • Engage more fully in therapy and other forms of treatment.

Fears Parents May Have About Validation

Parents often worry that validation might:

  • Encourage unhealthy behaviors: It’s important to remember that validating your child’s feelings is not the same as endorsing their actions. For example, “I can imagine that it is very hard for you to complete your meal right now because it makes you anxious” is letting them know that you understand what they are struggling against, without encouraging them to restrict themselves.
  • Undermine parental authority: Validation doesn’t mean you have to compromise your boundaries or expectations. In other words, because you understand how hard it is for them to eat, that doesn’t mean you let them go unnourished.
  • Reinforce disordered thoughts: Validation focuses on emotions, not necessarily agreeing with the thoughts driving them. For example, saying, “It makes sense that you feel overwhelmed right now” doesn’t mean you agree with their belief that they “must” restrict food to feel in control.

Barriers to Validating Your Child

It’s not always easy to validate your child’s emotions, especially when:

  • Their feelings seem irrational or extreme. For example, your child may be fearful that they will gain a bunch of weight if they eat a piece of bread or that if they get a B in a class they won’t get a good job.
  • You’re feeling triggered, stressed, or unsure of how to respond.
  • You’re worried about saying the “wrong” thing and making things worse. The important thing is that you are trying and your teen will see that you are trying to understand them and what they are experiencing.
  • Your own emotions—such as frustration, fear, or sadness—are taking over in the moment. If this is the case, you may need to take a step back and come back later to your teen and validate them later. It is never too late.

Validation often doesn’t come naturally to us (I know when in my personal relationships I often find it challenging, and I am a therapist!). The good news is that validation is a skill that you can learn and practice.

Examples of How to Validate

Here are some ways to practice validation in everyday conversations:

  1. Listen Without Interrupting: Show you’re fully present by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and responding with short affirmations like “I’m listening” or “Tell me more.”
  2. Reflect Their Emotions: Paraphrase what they’ve shared to make sure you understand what they are saying. For example, “It sounds like you’re feeling really anxious about eating today, am I understanding that correctly?”
  3. Normalize Their Feelings: Help them see their emotions as a natural response. For instance, “I can understand why you’d feel overwhelmed; this is a big change for you.”
  4. Acknowledge Their Struggle: Recognize the difficulty of their experience. For example, “I can see how hard this is for you, and I’m here to support you.”

Ways to Practice Validation

Validation is a skill that can be developed with practice. Here are some tips:

  • Pause Before Responding: Take a deep breath to ground yourself if you’re feeling reactive. This both gives you a moment to decide how to respond, and helps to regulate your emotions so you are more able to respond intentionally.
  • Practice Empathy: Try to see the situation from your child’s perspective. Ask yourself, “How might this feel for them?” If you don’t know how they are feeling, ask.
  • Use “I” Statements: For example, “I’m here for you” or “I want to understand how you’re feeling” or “I can see why this feels overwhelming” rather than focusing on what they “should” do can help show your teen that you want to be an active support for them, and don’t want to blame them for what they are struggling with.
  • Role-Play Scenarios: If you’re working with a therapist or support group, practice validating responses to common situations.

A Path to Healing

Validation is not a magic cure, but it lays a critical foundation for healing. By helping your child feel seen and understood, you create a space where they can face their struggles without fear of judgment. Over time, this fosters the emotional resilience and trust they need to move toward recovery.

As a parent, you don’t have to be perfect—and there will be times when you stumble. 

But each effort you make to validate your child’s emotions is a step toward connection and healing. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Reach out for support, whether from therapists, support groups, or other parents who understand the challenges of eating disorder recovery. Together, you can help your child find their way to health and hope.

As a therapist who is also a dietitian, I can help you understand what is going on from both angles. If you are in Texas and interested in working with me, click here to fill out a contact form. I would love to support you and your child on your journey to health.

Supporting Your Child Through an Eating Disorder: A Guide for Parents

Supporting Your Child Through an Eating Disorder: A Guide for Parents

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Feeling overwhelmed, frightened, and unsure of how to help when your teen is struggling with an eating disorder is a common and natural experience for parents. And while eating disorders are complex and often misunderstood, with the right resources and support, recovery is possible for your teen. And as a parent, you play a crucial role in your teen’s healing journey.

Below you can find compassionate guidance as well as therapist recommended resources to help you support your teen through their eating disorder recovery effectively.

Start With Understanding:

Eating disorders are complex, but that doesn’t mean they are unknowable. Education is one of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal, not only to help you find effective methods of support, but also to help expand your understanding of what causes and may impact eating disorders, so you can give informed care to your teen–rather than having to rely on guess work and risk causing harm. Understanding the nature of eating disorders and their impact on both physical and mental health can demystify the illness and empower you to provide informed support to your teen.

Here are some highly recommended resources to deepen your knowledge and help you in supporting your child:

When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder by Lauren Muhlheim:

This book provides practical advice for parents navigating their child’s eating disorder, offering evidence-based strategies rooted in Family-Based Treatment (FBT) in a non-clinical manner so they’re accessible to the non-clinical reader. Muhlheim is the founder of Eating Disorder Therapy LA, an outpatient treatment center, has trained many clinicians and is a frequent speaker at eating disorder trainings and conferences. You can read my full review of this book, and why I consider it a must read here.

Sick Enough: A Guide to the Medical Complications of Eating Disorders by Jennifer Gaudiani:

Dr. Gaudiani’s offers a compassionate exploration of the medical side of eating disorders throughout Sick Enough, helping parents understand the seriousness of eating disorders and how to advocate for their child’s car by breaking down the impact of dietary restriction on your children’s bodies and brains, providing descriptions of common medical problems associated with eating disorders, as well as common co-occurring medical issues that complicate diagnosis and treatment.

Dr. Gaudiani is a board certified-internal medicine doctor who specializes in the treatment of eating disorders, as well as the founder of the Gaudiani Clinic: an outpatient medical practice specializing in the treatment of eating disorders, and a highly respected physician in the eating disorder community.

How to Nourish Your Child Through an Eating Disorder by Casey Crosbie and Wendy Sterling.

Authors Crosbie and Sterling are registered dietitians who specialize in the treatment of eating disorders. How to Nourish Your Child focuses on the Plate-by-Plate approach, a  resource which gives parents actionable steps to help their child restore nutrition-without counting calories or macros.This book helps parents answer the question, “what and how much should I be feeding my child,” especially for parents of teens with eating disorders.

Anorexia and Other Eating Disorders: How to Help Your Child Eat Well and Be Well By Eva Musby.

Eva Musby’s lived experience as parent supporting a teen daughter through in an eating disorder makes her book a wonderful resource. She provides invaluable tools for parents, including guidance on communicating with compassion, handling mealtime challenges, and navigating the emotional toll of supporting a child with an eating disorder. You can visit her website for free resources and updates.

Lean on Community

Try to remember that you are not alone in this journey. Many parents have walked this path and found solace, guidance, and strength in connecting with community and many who have found healing in connecting with others who understand your struggles.  Some places to start:

FEAST-ED.org:

F.E.A.S.T-ED (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) is an organization that offers resources specifically for parents and caregivers of children with eating disorders. Their community of parents provides support and shared experiences, and resources like forums, educational materials, and a library of researched back information

The Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness:

This organization offers support groups, treatment referrals, and education for families. Their resources can help you find professionals and programs tailored to your child’s needs.

Practical Tips for Supporting Your Child Effectively:

  1. Practice Patience and Empathy: Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. Validate your child’s feelings, even when you don’t fully understand them. If you want to learn more about why validation is important (and how to do it) in your child’s recovery I highly recommend this video on emotional coaching.
  2. Focus on Nourishment, Not Blame: Approach meals and food with a goal of healing and restoration, rather than criticism or punishment.
  3. Prioritize Your Own Well-Being: Supporting a child through an eating disorder is emotionally taxing. Seek support for yourself, whether through therapy, parent groups, or trusted friends.
  4. Communicate Openly With Your Child: Foster an environment where your child feels safe to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.

A Final Word

As daunting as this journey may seem, remember that recovery is possible. By equipping yourself with knowledge, support, and compassion, you can help your child reclaim their health and happiness. Keep taking it one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. You are not alone in this fight—and neither is your child.

Do you have a teen who is struggling with an eating disorder? Working with a therapist who is experienced in Family-Based Treatment can help. If you are in Texas and interested in working with me, click here to fill out a contact form.

Book Review: Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond is a Must Read

Book Review: Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond is a Must Read

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Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond by Amy Pershing with Chevese Turner, seamlessly blends clinical knowledge with the lived experiences of those affected by BED, making it an invaluable guide for individuals experiencing BED and their families. Divided into three parts: understanding BED, addressing its root causes, and finding sustainable recovery strategies, this book is a must read for anyone looking for an insightful and compassionate resource on binge eating disorder (BED).

Understanding Binge Eating Disorder

Binge eating disorder (BED) is the most common eating disorder, it can develop at any age, often in childhood, and can impact people across diverse identities and backgrounds. It is characterized by recurrent episodes of eating unusually large amounts of food in a short period, accompanied by feelings of loss of control. 

BED affects an estimated 2.8 million individuals, making it the most prevalent eating disorder in the United States. Despite its high prevalence, BED often goes undiagnosed or misunderstood, in part due to societal weight bias and outdated treatment paradigms. 

Understanding Binge Eating Disorder Symptoms

BED is not a one size fits all diagnosis, and can often affect people in unique ways, but there are some hallmark symptoms that are commonly observed, which include:

  1. Frequent Episodes of Binge Eating:
    • Consuming more food than most people would in a similar time frame and situation.
    • Feeling unable to stop eating during a binge episode.
  2. Emotional Distress Around Eating:
    • Intense feelings of shame, guilt, or embarrassment during or after binge episodes.
    • Experiencing disgust or self-loathing related to eating habits.
  3. Behavioral Indicators:
    • Eating rapidly or at an unusually fast pace.
    • Eating until uncomfortably full.
    • Consuming large amounts of food even when not physically hungry.
    • Preferring to eat alone to hide the behavior from others.
  4. Physical Symptoms:
    • Fluctuating weight due to consistent overeating and undereating.
    • Gastrointestinal discomfort or other health issues linked to excessive eating.

If these symptoms occur at least once a week for three months, it could indicate BED, and you should talk to a trusted care provider.

Who experiences Binge Eating Disorder?

BED doesn’t discriminate—it can affect people of any age, gender, race, or socioeconomic background. Please note that people of all body sizes can experience binge eating disorders. 

Why is Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond by Amy Pershing with Chevese such a powerful resource?

  1. It Addresses the Root Causes:
    Authors Chevese Turner and Amy Pershing provide a thorough explanation of how the diet industry, weight bias, and weight stigma all work together to contribute to the development and persistence of eating disorders. Many individuals with BED have endured significant weight stigma and bullying, which often begin in childhood. Tragically, these experiences are pervasive in peer groups, families, and even healthcare settings. In an attempt to avoid further stigma, many people turn to dieting as a way to change their bodies, but this often worsens their relationship with food and deepens the cycle of disordered eating. It is estimated that up to 70% of those experiencing binge eating pursue weight loss services often making the eating disorder worse. They also delve into systemic oppression and its role in fostering BED.

    The book also makes it clear that effective treatment for BED lies in psychological support and nutritional rehabilitation—not weight loss interventions.

  2. It Makes Sense of Binge Eating:
    Within the chapter “How BED Happens and Why It Makes Sense” Pershing and Turner offer a groundbreaking discussion of the nervous system and its stress response. They explain how binge eating functions as a coping mechanism, helping individuals feel safe during times of stress or overwhelm, which helps to make sense of binge eating as an adaptive (though ultimately unhelpful) response, which in turn can foster self-compassion and reduce the shame often associated with this behavior.
  3. It Offers Inspiring Personal Narratives:
    Chevese Turner courageously shares her story of binge eating, starting from her childhood experiences with food. Amy Pershing complements this narrative with her years of clinical expertise, sharing lessons from her work with clients in recovery. These interwoven stories remind readers that they are not alone in their struggles. By reducing isolation and shame, the authors create a sense of solidarity and hope.
  4. It Provides A Roadmap to Recovery:

    Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond offers a framework for improving readers’ relationships with both food and their bodies. Rather than prescribing rigid meal plans, it focuses on reclaiming a sense of self. Chevese Turner and Amy Pershing introduce concepts from Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, such as “parts work,” to help readers understand their binge eating behaviors and work toward recovery. They also address body shame and body image distress, reframing the body as a home—not an object to be judged, but a vessel for experiencing life, joy, and even pain.

    The authors critique diet culture and thin privilege, empowering readers to navigate these societal pressures while staying true to themselves.

  5. It Expands Perspectives:
    One of the book’s greatest strengths is its ability to broaden readers’ understanding of binge eating. Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond explores how societal and systemic factors influence BED, and help to shift the focus away from individual blame and toward a more compassionate, holistic view.

I wish I had discovered it earlier—it would have allowed me to recommend it to more clients sooner. Those I’ve shared it with have found it incredibly helpful and affirming. If you are experiencing binge eating please consider reaching out for support.

Whether you’re a generalist clinician seeking to understand better binge eating disorder or an experienced eating disorder specialist, this book deserves a place in your professional library. Once you read it, you’ll feel confident recommending it to clients with BED—and they’ll thank you.

2024 Eating Disorder Recovery Resource Roundup

2024 Eating Disorder Recovery Resource Roundup

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As we close the chapter on 2024, we have the opportunity to take a few moments to reflect on the last year of eating disorder recovery & treatment and make note of resources available to us for continuing care in 2025.

As awareness of eating disorders and recovery options continue to grow, families, clinicians, and communities are searching for tools and knowledge that prioritize compassion and effective care. Whether you’re considering levels of care for recovery or exploring family based therapy for eating disorder treatments, these conversations have helped shape a community of care we’re excited to take with us into 2025.

Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, or someone in recovery yourself, there’s so much to be aware of and as we learn more together, we strengthen our communities and our possibility for a thriving recovery.

As we move into 2025, these insights can guide us to approach eating disorder recovery with greater intention. They challenge us to prioritize early intervention, understand diverse diagnoses, and advocate for inclusive and accessible care. Whether you’re navigating recovery personally or supporting a loved one, the lessons of 2024 can serve as a foundation for a hopeful and informed new year.

Stay tuned as we build on this momentum in 2025, continuing to explore the complexities of eating disorders and the paths to healing. Let’s enter the new year with renewed purpose and compassion.

Here’s what I wrote about this year:

When Your Loved One Doesn’t Want to Get Better: Understanding Anosognosia in Anorexia Nervosa

“Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by severe food restriction, an intense fear of weight gain, and body image disturbance. Anorexia nervosa affects many individuals of all genders, ages, and identities worldwide.

The consequences of anorexia nervosa can be devastating, both physically and psychologically. However, one of the most challenging aspects of this disorder, particularly for family members and caregivers (and even clinicians!), is the phenomenon known as anosognosia.

What is Anosognosia?

Anosognosia, stemming from the Greek words “nosos” (disease) and “gnosis” (knowledge), refers to a lack of awareness of one’s illness. Anosognosia often can feel and look like denial.

Denial is a defense mechanism and psychological response to avoid dealing with anxiety or other uncomfortable feelings. In contrast, anosognosia in mental health conditions is better described as a lack of awareness of their own condition.”

Understanding ARFID: More Than Picky Eating

“Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder is not just a simple case of picky eating; it is a complex psychological condition that can cause significant nutritional and reduced quality of life, particularly if it endures into adulthood.

Unlike other eating disorders that are often driven by concerns about weight and body image, ARFID is characterized by an avoidance of food based on sensory sensitivity, lack of interest in eating, depressed appetite, and/or fear of adverse consequences such as choking, throwing-up, or an allergic reaction.

Individuals grappling with ARFID may face a persistent difficulty when it comes to eating sufficient quantities or varieties of food. This can stem from deep-seated anxiety, gastrointestinal discomfort, or past negative associations with food.”

Book Review: When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder is a Must-Read

“If you think your child or teen has an eating disorder this is a must read.

Eating disorders can perplex many parents and clinicians alike. Your teen may not be acting like their usual self, and it’s hard to know if this is just normal teenage angst or something more serious. If your teen has an eating disorder, they may have changed greatly right before your eyes: refusing food, feeling anxious around eating, or experiencing changes in mood and energy.

You may have tried several times to talk with them about the importance of eating and try to reassure them that they are not gaining weight. (In fact, they are likely losing weight.) But, your child’s struggles seem to be getting worse not better.

If your teen has not seen a doctor yet about their eating disorder this is the first step to make sure they are medically stable.”

Levels of Care in Eating Disorder Treatment: How to Choose the Right Option

“Levels of care refer to how much support is needed to reduce eating disorder behaviors during treatment. Several levels of care may be utilized throughout treatment for an eating disorder, based on what is necessary for the person in recovery.

Treatment choices can be overwhelming if you or your teen are newly diagnosed with an eating disorder. Residential, day treatment, or outpatient care – what does this all mean?

Levels of care in eating disorder treatment are selected based on many factors including:

  • Medical: This often is the driving factor in selecting the level of care. If you or your teen are medically compromised more care may be needed.
  • Severity of malnutrition: Different levels of care offer varied amounts of support for nutrition rehabilitation.
  • Co-occurring conditions: Often those with eating disorders have other medical or psychological conditions that also need to be treated.
  • Social support: Social support improves mental and physical health. The different levels of care offer varying levels of social support.
  • “Motivation”: Most of us want to feel better and be healthy. However, change can feel scary, overwhelming and downright impossible at times. Those who feel more stuck in their eating disorder may need more support to feel like change is possible.
  • Access to care: Proximity to treatment, insurance, and specialty care are all considerations. Virtual treatment by clinicians and treatment programs are being utilized to increase access to care.”

Treating Anorexia Nervosa in Teens: The 5 Tenets of FBT

“Looking at all of the treatment options for anorexia nervosa in teens may feel daunting.

In this article, the focus is on family-based treatment (FBT), one type of treatment for eating disorders that is used for treating anorexia nervosa in teens. In particular, this article discusses the nuances of family-based treatment, which are referred to as the “Tenets of FBT”.

The focus of FBT is to empower you, the parent, to provide nutrition rehabilitation and restore your child back to health with the guidance of a treatment team. FBT is an outpatient treatment that can be used in place of residential treatment or partial hospitalization if your teen is medically stable. That means your teen can stay at home during treatment.

The tenets of Family-Based Therapy guide me as a clinician, and you as a parent, during eating disorder treatment and recovery. When working with families and teens throughout treatment I refer to these guiding principles frequently.”

Can Family-Based Treatment Help My Child Recover from an Eating Disorder?

“If you are a parent or caregiver, desperate to help your child who is struggling with an eating disorder, family-based treatment may be the solution you are searching for.

Often, families come into my office worried sick about their child.

Their child might have lost a lot of weight or been acting “sneaky” around food. Maybe their child has been over-exercising, using laxatives, or throwing up after eating.

Or, they might be worried because their child only eats a small number of foods, or eats a lot of food at once.

Or maybe your child has become an extremely “picky eater”.

On top of that, parents are often terrified because they have heard doctors mention hospitalization and many therapists have turned them away. When they do research online, things look bleak.

No matter their child’s symptoms, when families first come in they are often frantic, frustrated, and feeling powerless. They don’t know what to do.

If you find yourself in a similar boat today, you’re not alone. I have worked with countless families who walk into my office feeling this way. Sadly, there’s a lot of blame put on the parents. All they want for their child is to get better and live a happy life without the constant obsession with food.”

I’ll be back in 2025, writing more about eating disorder recovery, food peace, and weight bias. If there are any topics you want me to cover next year, let me know. You can send me a message here, and you can also follow me on Facebook. Every week, I share resources from myself + other eating disorder experts, so follow if you’re looking for more information.

Understanding ARFID: More Than Picky Eating

Understanding ARFID: More Than Picky Eating

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Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) often remains underrecognized and misunderstood.

Adults who have struggled with Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder for most of their life may feel it is impossible for things to be different. Parents who have a child struggling with ARFID have, more often than not, literally tried everything to help their kiddo eat, but nothing seems to be working. ARFID is often equated with picky eating, but it’s actually much more complex than that.

Although ARFID is a newer diagnosis, there is really nothing new about it.

Prior to being added to the DSM-5, it was included in a broader category called “Feeding Disorder.” It was added to the DSM-5 in order to develop better ways to treat it.

Parenting a Child with ARFID

If you are a parent, well meaning doctors may have minimized your child’s selective eating. This can be particularly true if your child is on track with growth. This can be frustrating for a number of reasons. You spend significant time to figure out how to feed your child – and it takes a lot of mental energy and often can feel very limiting to keep dealing with this challenge day after day.

If it’s left unaddressed, ARFID can lead to nutritional deficits, which can impact both physical health and emotional well-being. Early detection of ARFID is important so it doesn’t turn into a life-long struggle. Understanding ARFID is crucial for effective intervention, and a comprehensive treatment strategy tailored to the individual’s specific needs is necessary.

Understanding ARFID

Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder is not just a simple case of picky eating; it is a complex psychological condition that can cause significant nutritional and reduced quality of life, particularly if it endures into adulthood.

Unlike other eating disorders that are often driven by concerns about weight and body image, ARFID is characterized by an avoidance of food based on sensory sensitivity, lack of interest in eating, depressed appetite, and/or fear of adverse consequences such as choking, throwing-up, or an allergic reaction.

Individuals grappling with ARFID may face a persistent difficulty when it comes to eating sufficient quantities or varieties of food. This can stem from deep-seated anxiety, gastrointestinal discomfort, or past negative associations with food.

Recognizing Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder Symptoms

Persistent avoidance of specific foods or food groups or low food intake are characteristic of ARFID. Physical responses such as gagging may coincide with this avoidance of certain foods.

The eating patterns of individuals with ARFID reveal a restrictive intake that fails to meet their physiological needs. Without treatment, ARFID can lead to potential nutritional deficiencies, weight loss, or developmental delays, irrespective of age, gender, or body weight.

Behavioral signs and changes in eating that may indicate ARFID include:

  • Poor appetite
  • Getting full quickly
  • Avoiding eating due to fear of choking
  • Picky eating that often gets worse over time

Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) is often misinterpreted as a phase among children or as mere pickiness in adults; however, it represents a significant feeding or eating disorder that hinders one’s capacity to consume an adequate variety and volume of food.

Impact of ARFID on Everyday Life

ARFID’s restrictive eating patterns in children can lead to low energy, isolation, and anxiety around meal times. For caregivers, it can be a struggle to know how to feed your child, or  it can take lots of effort to prepare foods that you know they will eat in order to support growth.

For older children and adolescents, ARFID can make socializing, which often happens around food (such as parties, sleep overs, family events or team dinners), anxiety provoking for both the child and parents. The disorder’s consequences radiate outward, often simmering into familial tensions and social rifts, as loved ones grapple with the complexities of ARFID.

Adults with ARFID tend to have a decrease in quality of life. Moreover, the fear of eating outside one’s comfort zone can hinder personal and professional growth, particularly when mealtime activities are involved.

Ultimately, the disorder’s grasp can dampen overall quality of life, exerting a significant emotional toll.

Approaches to Treating ARFID

The main goal of treatment for ARFID is supporting the sufferer with eating enough (and enough variety) to keep their body nourished. For children, treatment works to support growth. Treatment for children, adolescents, and adults can help to improve overall quality of life.

Improved quality of life looks different depending on the individual with ARFID. For some, that may mean eating most food. For others, it may mean expanding the variety of food in order to support quality of life and being nourished.

Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder treatment usually focuses on making eating or feeding a priority.

That is, for most folks, increasing the number of times each day they eat meals and snacks. Due to the nature of ARFID, eating often gets put off because it is uncomfortable for the person to eat, or they simply aren’t hungry.

Structured meal planning can be an effective strategy for managing ARFID, as it introduces routine and predictability into the dining experience. By brainstorming menus in advance, individuals and families gain clarity and a sense of control over their food choices.

Having structure and making eating a priority can help make sure people are getting adequate nutrition and reduce meal time stress.

In addressing the dietary concerns that stem from Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, we take a gradual approach to food exposure. Food exposures are designed in collaboration with the client and/or the family in order to personalize care.

Incremental exposure to food means starting with foods that are less anxiety-provoking, building up to a more diverse diet over time. Food-related anxieties are meticulously deconstructed, facilitating the individual’s encounters with previously feared foods in a safe and controlled environment.

Efforts are channeled into ensuring balanced nutritional intake while concurrently addressing emotional and cognitive barriers. Over time, the individual learns to associate eating with safety rather than distress, thus gradually dismantling the cycle of avoidance that characterizes ARFID.

My Approach to ARFID Treatment

When I am working with children with ARFID I work closely with their caregivers. I have learned from my training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for ARFID that I can bring the expertise in eating disorders, and the parents & kiddo bring the expertise on their family, food beliefs, culture, and abilities (to name a few).

With adults with ARFID I use a similar mindset. I bring skills to the table to treat the eating disorder and they bring their expert knowledge of themselves.

Are you concerned that you or your child are dealing with Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder? Sign up for a free consultation to learn more about how I can help you and your family.

A graphic that reads "Book review: More than a body: Your body is an instrument not an ornament" in the bottom left corner, over a stock photo of a tablet on a peachy pink background showing the cover for More Than A Body.

Book Review: More than a Body

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Book Review: More than a Body: Your Body is an Instrument, not an Ornament

More than a Body is an important read for those suffering from a negative body image.

Authors Dr. Lexie Kite and Dr. Lindsay Kite (not only sisters, but also identical twins!) are well versed in body image research. Not only do the authors provide a great discussion of what body image is, and how it developed, they deliver an extensive discussion on the influence of society on our body image.

What is this book about?

Lexie and Lindsay provide a framework of body image disturbance and postulate that objectification, both historically and current, of women (and with increasing frequency, boys’ and men’s bodies) is one of the main causes of body image disturbance.

That is, we are trained to focus on how our bodies are seen by others versus what our bodies can do.

In turn, we internalize this message and begin to self-objectify our own bodies. This self-objectification shifts our attention to how our bodies look instead of how we feel in our bodies.

As you can imagine, self-objectification can lead to being preoccupied with the way our bodies look, including increased body comparison and body checking in mirrors.

This shift of our energy and awareness from how our bodies feel to how our bodies look takes up a lot of time and energy, and just leads to feeling badly about yourself and your body.

It often starts from a young age, because a lot of media promotes cultural standards of beauty, even still in 2022. The message has always been that it doesn’t matter how you feel in your body, it matters how the world around you sees your body.

The authors of More Than a Body put forth that women are conditioned to first define themselves by how their body looks and second that they are people with inherent worth.

In a way, the messaging is getting more troubling. Slowly but surely, companies are starting to get the message that appealing to old-school body insecurities doesn’t create as much of a profit as it used to. Instead of being loud about weight loss or fat shaming, companies now try to appeal to people by using language taken from the body positivity movement.

We’ve seen brands like Weight Watchers change their name to WW in an attempt to move their image away from weight loss to “lifestyle change”, while still promoting intentional weight loss and a disordered approach to eating. Everything is still reduced down to the way people look, and not their inherent value as humans.

In order to heal from negative body image, the authors urge us to internalize that we are people first. And our bodies know that we are inherently good.

What did I like about this book?

Importantly, the authors do acknowledge that most body image research is done on cis, white, and often straight-sized bodies. They also discuss weight bias and its harmful effects in addition to discussion on historically marginalized bodies.

The authors’ discussion of the body positivity movement is especially insightful.

They acknowledge that the body positivity movement has expanded the types of bodies (read: size) that are deemed socially acceptable. However, the body positivity movement is flawed because it still focuses on the objectification of women’s bodies.

The idea itself that bodies are to be looked at and objectified is problematic, because who we are as people goes so far beyond what our bodies look like. Having more bodies that we decide as a society are acceptable to look at does nothing to solve the problem of objectifying bodies in the first place, it just adds to the objectification taking place.

The Drs. Kite propose that the only way to improve body image is to eliminate self-objectification and connect with our bodies for what they do for us over how they look. This can be pretty tough to do in the age of social media advertising and diet culture.

The tagline of this book, “Your body is an instrument, not an ornament,” resonates with me as a woman, and in my work with clients.

It is a great mantra to keep at the top of your mind to shift your focus from how your body looks to what your body does for you.

The book is lengthy and provides more of a framework of why we are fraught with negative body image rather than provide solutions for body image problems. I appreciated that the authors used vignettes to explain their work, and they often cite research to back up what they’re saying.

If you’re looking into the background of where negative body image comes from and want to learn more, this book will be an interesting read for you. If you’re looking for actionable solutions for body-image problems, this book might not be what you’re looking for.

Who should read this book?

I would recommend this book to:

  • clinicians who treat people with body image disturbance
  • parents & caregivers who want to learn more about how to raise children with healthy body image
  • those who suffer from body image disturbance
  • folks who are in the later stages of eating disorder treatment

Although this book is better than some at expanding the body image discussion past cis, white, straight size, abled bodies, the fact that it is more than likely aimed at this audience (rather than the marginalized bodies it briefly focuses on) it is one of the limitations of the book.

The authors have developed an online course (which I have not taken) as another body image resource. But, I also hope that they consider developing a workbook to accompany this book to help guide folks through the difficult process of connecting with our bodies for what they do over how they look.

Are you curious to learn more about the authors of this book and their perspective on body image?

Here is a link where you can hear Dr. Linsday Kite speak on body image – this video also gives a solid introduction to the book.

Understanding your body image and where it comes from is key in eating disorder recovery. If you’re looking for more support in changing your body image, please click here to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with me.