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Exploring Values Instead of New Year’s Resolutions in 2022

How do you feel about New Year’s Resolutions? The new year often feels like the perfect time to implement changes, and the constant flood of “New Year New You” marketing definitely adds to the pressure to shake things up each January. Unfortunately, a lot of that marketing is heavily influenced by diet culture. Instead of making a New Year’s Resolution in 2022, try exploring your values instead. 

Diet culture, or a cultural belief that values thinness over physical and emotional health, absolutely reinforces resolutions that are focused on weight, food, or exercise.

New Year’s Resolutions focused on food, weight and exercise can wreak havoc, even when they’re well intentioned. 1 in 4 dieters will go on to develop an eating disorder, so a new year’s resolution to lose weight can spiral out of control no matter what intentions are behind it. Remember, dieters themselves are never the problem – the problem is that diets don’t work. 

Values are something many therapists explore with clients. Values are the cornerstone of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT. ACT “teaches mindfulness skills to help individuals live and behave in ways consistent with personal values while developing psychological flexibility.” Values are fundamental beliefs that guide our attitudes and our actions. 

You might be wondering how values and goals differ. 

Values are different from goals because goals are something that you achieve and can check off. 

Values, unlike goals, don’t have an end. They’re a part of your basic belief system about the world and your role in it. Values may shift over time, but they are often long-term. 

For example, a goal could be “I want to travel to all 50 states”. In contrast, the value in this case could be “travel”. Booking a trip lets you meet your goal and uphold your value. As they say in ACT, you are participating in a value-driven behavior by booking the trip.

I find using values work is helpful for clients with eating disorders for several reasons. Values work leads to:

Increased sense of self

Exploring your values helps you answer questions like “Who am I?” and “Where am I going?” Values work also helps folks suffering with eating disorders understand that they are so much more than their eating disorder, their weight, or how they feel about their body. 

When you’re doing values work, it helps to come from a place of abundance versus a place of scarcity. So often, people don’t feel like they are enough or they’re doing enough. In contrast, coming from a place of abundance helps you to recognize that you are enough just as you are, and that you are doing your best.

It’s kind of like looking at the glass half-full instead of half-empty. Instead of assuming the worst about yourself, work on assuming the best. 

Increased confidence by connecting actions with purpose.

Establishing what your values are is an important way to get  to know yourself better. When you understand what your values are and why they’re important to you, it’s easier to recognize things that interfere with those values.

Values work can help those with eating disorders recognize that their eating disorder interferes with many of their values. This can often serve as a motivator for recovery.

Fewer feelings of worthlessness.

Feeling worthless or not good enough can be extremely distressing. Let’s say you have a thought “I didn’t do anything today.”  When clients say this to me, I often have them tell me what they did that day. There’s always something! 

For example, maybe they texted a friend, called their mom, went to work, paid a bill and went to the grocery store to pick up some items for dinner to cook for their family.

These everyday tasks or activities most likely reinforce their values:

  • Texting a friend is connected with the value of relationships and caring
  • Calling their mom connected with the value of family and caring
  • Went to work and paid a bill connected with a value of financial health and reliability
  • Going to the grocery store is connected with health and family.

Are you stumped on what values are important to you? Here are a few examples of values to consider:

  • Health
  • Financial wellbeing
  • Recreation
  • Personal growth
  • Family
  • Relationships
  • Spirituality
  • Community
  • Social justice
  • Honesty
  • Reliable
  • Caring
  • Fun
  • Kindness
  • Authenticity
  • Learning
  • Stability

For folks who struggle with eating disorders, it is helpful to think how recovery behaviors are linked with values.

So if you value health and have an eating disorder…it might feel uncomfortable to hold both of those at the same time. Acting in a way that is aligned with your values can be a powerful motivator for recovery. 

For example, if you think you may have an eating disorder and you value health, merely reading this post is a value-driven behavior (a behavior that upholds your values). Or let’s say you are in treatment for your eating disorder. When you attend treatment appointments you are behaving in a value-driven way. 

Rather than focusing on resolutions in 2022, exploring your values can be a more impactful way to make changes that are in alignment with what’s important to you. 

Are you interested in exploring your own values and how your behaviors stem from them? Click here to learn more.

white text on a purple background over a photo of balloons in the sky that reads "5 Reasons not to Diet in 2021 (or Ever)"

5 Reasons not to Diet in 2021 (or Ever)

Unless you are taking a break from social media and the news, you most likely have been bombarded with messages about dieting and weight related New Year’s resolutions. Diet programs are promising the magic bullet for good health and weight loss in the New Year.

Maybe this year you are re-thinking your New Year’s resolutions. Perhaps you are beginning to notice that dieting is taking up too much space in your life or you are tired of worrying about what you eat or what you look like. It could be you are looking to “get off the diet roller coaster” permanently and heal your relationship with food and your body.

If you are ready to give up dieting, you’re not alone. Consider these five reasons to quit dieting for good:

1. Dieting for permanent weight loss is ineffective.

While dieting can be effective for weight loss for some, usually weight loss is short-lived. In fact, scientists have little to no evidence to show that dieting is an effective means for keeping lost weight off. Maybe you haven’t been able to stick to your diet. It is not you, it is the diet. Diets are nearly impossible to follow for the long term. And then when diets are “broken”, it leaves the person feeling bad about themselves and disconnected from their body, doing more damage than good.

2. Dieting is a known risk factor for developing disordered eating or a full-blown eating disorder.

The causes of eating disorders are complex and can be caused by a range of biological, social, and psychological factors. Researches have identified that dieting is a risk factor for developing an eating disorder. The majority of clients that I treat with an eating disorder have had experience with dieting, usually motivated by body dissatisfaction. Dieting can contribute to more problems with your relationship with food instead of solving them.

3. Dieting can wreak havoc on your mental health.

Diets often promise control over food and even our lives. Starting a new diet can even feel exhilarating. But, have you ever noticed when you are dieting you spend more time thinking about food? Or you begin to feel out of control around food, maybe experience binge eating-like behavior? You may even avoid certain social situations in order to stay on the diet.

Additionally, when a “diet rule” is “broken” (not because of laziness or lack of willpower on your part—remember, clinical studies show that diets can’t be followed long term), you might experience increased feelings of shame, loss of control and failure. These feelings can drive us further from self-care and contribute to a poorer relationship with food.

4. Diets reinforce weight bias and stigma.

Weight bias and stigma are just what they sound like- discriminating against people based on their body size, usually large body size. Diets inherently send the message that large or fat bodies are “bad” or “unhealthy”, which reinforces fatphobia. It is well documented that rates of weight bias and stigma are on the rise. In fact, weight stigma and bias happen at higher rates than discrimination based on age or gender. Weight bias and stigma can affect physical and mental health independent of body size in various ways, including an increase in stress, poorer mental and physical health, and can contribute to problematic eating behaviors independent of body size. To read more about weight-bias and stigma, click here.

5. Diets often de-emphasize other determinants of health.

You have probably heard the saying, “You are what you eat”. This couldn’t be further from the truth. What and how we eat may be one part of our health, however, there are multiple factors that contribute to health. There are several determinants of health including genetics, economic status, environmental and physical influences, medical care, and social factors. Diet programs often give the illusion that by eating in a particular way you are guaranteed good health, often neglecting other health factors.

These are just a few good reasons to ditch dieting. However, you may be thinking, “Now what? How do I not diet? How do I feed myself?”. These are common and valid questions. If you have been dieting on and off for years or have an eating disorder, navigating food in our society that is steeped in diet culture can be confusing and downright daunting.

Here are some resources to get you started on learning how to improve your relationship with food and your body:

an infographic that titled " 5 reasons not to diet in 2021 (or ever)". The tips read, in order: "Dieting for permanent weight loss is ineffective." "Dieting is a known risk factor for developing disordered eating or an eating disorder." "Dieting can wreak havoc on your mental health." "Diets reinforce weight bias and stigma." "Diets often de-emphasize other determinants of health." There is a small photo next to each statement. The photos, in order, show: a white lightbulb on a yellow background, a yellow caution sign on a blush background, a brain wearing a red stethoscope on a blue background, a blank notebook page next to a green pencil on a blue and yellow background, and a person holding a megaphone on a purple background.
white text on a purple background over a photo of balloons in the sky that reads "5 Reasons not to Diet in 2021 (or Ever)"

If you’re looking for more support as you make peace with food and ditch the diets for good, I can help you learn to trust your body and learn to feed yourself again. Get in touch today!

Intuitive Eating: 3 Signs That It Is Right for You

Intuitive Eating: 3 Signs That It Is Right for You

Intuitive eating is a term coined by registered dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. Tribole and Resch’s book Intuitive Eating’s purpose is to help chronic dieters and people with food and body image struggles to heal their relationship with food.

Unlike diets, intuitive eating sharpens our ability to listen to our bodies and to understand when we are hungry and full, what foods to eat, and when the best time for our bodies to eat is. This results in a reduction of worry about food and guilt often associated with dieting.

In a nutshell, intuitive eating is learning to tune into your body’s signals in order to feed and nourish yourself instead of a diet or meal plan.

Are you ready for intuitive eating? Here is how to tell:

Are you tired of dieting?

Have you been on almost every diet known to man? Do you feel frustrated that diets work for a while, but then something happens-like a vacation or a stressful event-then you go off the diet?  

Trust me, it is not you, it is the diet. Most diets don’t work long -term. Diets fail, not the people on them. Dieting is a known risk factor for developing a full-blown eating disorder.   Eating intuitively can help kick diets–forever. 

Are you tired of feeling guilty about what you are eating?

Most diets have rigid rules about what, when, and how much to eat. When these diet rules are “broken,” it can leave the dieter with feelings of guilt. 

With intuitive eating, there is no set of rules about what is “good” and “bad” to eat. Eating intuitively helps people tune into their body’s wisdom in order to feed themselves.

Do you feel out of control with food?

Diets give us the illusion of control over food.  Particularly when you first start a diet, it feels like you have complete command over your eating, until your biology kicks in (because most diets don’t provide enough energy or calories) or you find yourself in a situation that you are unable to follow the diet. 

Furthermore, it is natural to have cravings for more food and certain types of foods if you have been depriving yourself by being on a diet. The overeating (perhaps even binge eating) kicks in when you have access to foods that aren’t on the diet.

Again, it is not because you don’t have enough willpower or intellect. The diet is the problem, not you. Studies show that dieting can lead to full-blown eating disorders.  

Eating intuitively rejects the diet mentality and “legalizes” all foods, thereby reducing feelings of deprivation around food. 

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, intuitive eating may be the relief you are looking for.  

Intuitive Eating is not another diet in disguise or a weight loss program. Intuitive eating doesn’t preach what, when, and how much to eat, Rather, it teaches you to listen to your body’s signs and signals about how to best feed yourself. With intuitive eating, you will gain confidence around how to feed yourself.  

Want to learn more about intuitive eating or see if it is right for you? Call for your free 15-minute phone consultation.  

Note: If you are in treatment for an eating disorder, talk with your treatment team about if and when intuitive eating is right for you. If you think you have an eating disorder, get an assessment completed by an eating disorder treatment professional before starting intuitive eating.  

Diet Culture: A Major Barrier in Making Peace with Food

Diet Culture: A Major Barrier in Making Peace with Food

Are you trying to heal your relationship with food and improve your body image? Do you feel like everywhere you turn, there is talk about what you should or shouldn’t be eating? Whether you have an eating disorder or have been on the diet roller coaster, you are probably overwhelmed with diet culture.

Our social media feeds are littered with “fitspiration” images, diet trends, and the like.

We hear messages from well-meaning friends, family, fitness instructors, news sources, and the medical community about dieting. Furthermore, it is socially acceptable for women (and now men, too) to bash our bodies and talk about dieting.

In the world of eating disorder treatment, the constant barrage of messages about dieting and how we should look is termed “diet culture.” Diet culture is alive and well in our country. It can be damaging for those who struggle with an eating disorder because it perpetuates the eating disorder.

For those dieting, it can make you feel like a constant failure because diets don’t actually work. Furthermore, dieting is a risk factor for developing an eating disorder.

Diet culture makes us question how we feed ourselves.

It makes us feel disconnected from our bodies and food. Also, it makes us reinforce the habit of comparing ourselves to others to see how we are supposed to look and feed ourselves. It teaches us to ignore our bodies’ cues of hunger, fullness and food choices. Let’s face it-diet culture can make us feel downright nutty at time, leading to a preoccupation with food and weight or even a full-blown eating disorder.

Rejecting the diet culture is a key step in healing your relationship with food. If you are trying to get off the diet roller coaster or are in recovery from an eating disorder, rejecting the diet culture is an important step in your healing.

Diet culture is everywhere, but there are things you can do to avoid its destructive path:

Identify diet culture.

When you see, hear, or read diet culture, name it.

For example, let’s say you are eating dinner with a friend and she says to you, “I am going to have to work out double tomorrow I because I am eating so much.” Normally, you may think to yourself, “Gosh, she is right.  We are eating a lot” or “I guess I need to, too.” Rather than continuing on with the diet narrative or talk, say to yourself, “This is diet talk, and it is not helpful to me.” Labeling the thought as “not helpful” prevents you from going down the rabbit hole of diet culture.

Clean-up your social media feeds.

Delete and unsubscribe from folks who promote dieting, and weight loss. Cleaning up your social media feed will significantly reduce the amount of messaging you get about dieting. Avoid “health” and fitness magazines because the whole purpose of these magazines is to sell diet culture!

Seek out and support messaging that is body positive and discourages dieting.

Once you have decluttered your social media feed and inbox from diet talk, stock up with messages that you find helpful. That could mean following folks like Christy Harrison, an intuitive eating coach, and anti-diet dietitian. Or follow Judith Matz, a therapist and author who supports the anti-diet movement. It could also mean subscribing to more things that “fill you up” and make you happy. These could be things like hobbies, travel, support groups, inspirational post, or humor.

Set boundaries with friends and family.

You may come from a family of chronic dieters where diet talk is the norm. But maybe don’t know how to get the conversation headed in a different direction. Diet culture may be pushed on you with simple yet well intended statements like “You shouldn’t eat that,” “Let’s skip dinner tonight,” or “What is the calorie count on this?” Or maybe you are a college student on a campus where diet culture and eating disorders often run rampant. Here are a few ideas to set boundaries up around diet talk. Simply don’t engage in the conversation either by ignoring the comment or changing the subject. Depending on your relationship with the person, you may say something like, “These types of conversations aren’t helpful for me. Let’s talk about something else.” If you struggle setting boundaries, consider the workbook Setting Boundaries without Guilt.

You may feel ambivalent about rejecting diet culture.

Perhaps you are worried about missing the opportunity to find the “magic bullet” to perfect eating. But if you are reading this post, chances are that succumbing to diet culture has made you feel miserable. Since diet culture is everywhere, it is going to take time, patience, and practice to tune it out. However, there will be a huge payoff. It will result in less preoccupation with food, weight, and shape, so you can spend your energy on things that matter most to you.