Author Archives: Alison Pelz, LD, RD, CDE, LCSW

When Exercise Becomes Too Much, Could It Be Exercise Addiction?"

When Exercise Becomes Too Much, Could It Be Exercise Addiction?

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Here are some possible signs of exercise addiction. Do you…

  •   spend a lot of mental energy thinking about exercise? 
  •   think about when and how you are going to fit in? 
  •   have excessive worry or guilt if you don’t exercise? 

If any of those sound familiar to you, they could be signs that your exercise routine has become problematic.

Generally speaking, exercise is a good thing for you.

Exercise is not only fun, but it can improve physical and mental health and bolster self-esteem.  Exercise can also be social. Participating in sports, whether recreationally or competitively, has numerous benefits like introducing you to other people, giving you space to connect with your body, and improving your concentration.

However, too much of a good thing, like exercise, can lead to major health issues.

Exercise becomes problematic when exercise negatively affects your physical health and interferes with other aspects of your life. If exercising gets in the way of your social life, your family life, work, or school, you might be overdoing it.

When exercise becomes so rigid that it is harmful to your well-being it has shifted from healthy to compulsive exercise. Some people refer to compulsive exercise as an exercise addiction, because the urge to exercise often feels very strong and it can be uncomfortable to ignore it.

Are you wondering if you’re addicted to exercise? Here are six signs that you’re dealing with compulsive exercise:

There is rigidity around your exercise routine.

You may find it hard to deviate from your exercise routine. The rigidity that often accompanies exercise addiction can include the time of day the exercise is done, what type of exercise, and for how long you exercise.

Exercise is often excessive.

You spend a lot of time exercising. Usually, the length of exercise increases over time. You may be spending much of your free time exercising or thinking about exercising.

Not exercising makes you feel guilty, depressed and/or anxious.

If you have to miss your regularly scheduled exercise it makes you have intense negative emotions. You may spend significant mental energy thinking about how to “make it up”.

Exercise interferes with your social life and relationships.

You may turn down social invitations because it interferes with your exercise routine. For some, this can lead to significant feelings of isolation. You may even lie or hide how much you exercise. Work or school obligations can suffer because so much time and energy is spent on exercise.

You exercise despite feeling sick or if you have an injury.

When you are sick or injured you exercise anyway. You feel afraid that you will lose ground on your fitness level or you won’t return to exercise if you take time away.

Exercise feels like a chore or an obligation.

Initially, exercise starts off moderately but can slowly get more extreme. After a while, exercise no longer feels like something you want to do, but something that you have to do.

We may all experience some of these signs of compulsive exercise from time to time. However, the tell-tale sign of compulsive exercise is the persistent and consistent thoughts of exercise. In addition to the constant thinking about exercise, you might also experience intensely negative feelings when you miss an exercise session.

Compulsive exercise isn’t just about the exercise itself, it’s also about the enormous amount of thought and effort that goes toward thinking about exercise. Besides the time spent exercising, there is a lot of mental energy that goes into thinking about when, and how to exercise, and after a while that can be very draining.

The connection between athletes and compulsive exercise

It probably comes as no surprise that athletes are at a higher risk for developing a compulsive relationship with exercise.

Studies show that about 3% of the general exercise population struggles with compulsive exercise. Athletes are far more likely to struggle with exercise addiction. As many as 14% of endurance athletes and up to as high as 34.8% of elite athletes struggle with compulsive exercise. Compulsive exercise might feel necessary to keep up with the demands of their sport, but it has detrimental effects on physical and mental health.

The connection between eating disorders and compulsive exercise

Athletes aren’t the only people who struggle with compulsive exercise. There is a strong connection between compulsive exercise and eating disorders. Research has shown that 39% to 48% of people with eating disorders engage in compulsive exercise.

Often compulsive exercise is used to “make up for eating mistakes” or binges. In the eye of the eating disorder, it can give the person with an eating disorder permission to eat. Exercise is used in efforts to obtain or maintain a certain body weight or physic.

You can’t tell by looking at someone if they compulsively exercise. People with all different body types compulsively exercise.

What are the consequences of exercise addiction?

There are several physical consequences of compulsive exercise. They include:

    • Reduced bone density (osteopenia and osteoporosis)
    • Loss of menstrual cycle
    • Chronic muscle soreness, bone, and joint pain
    • Overuse injuries such as stress fractures

In addition to the physical effects, compulsive exercise has a major effect on mental health. Compulsive exercise is associated with decreased overall life satisfaction, negative mood, low energy, and increased rates of depression and/or anxiety.

How can compulsive exercise be treated?

If you’re struggling with compulsive exercise, you’re not alone, and help is available. There are ways to treat compulsive exercise, or exercise addiction. Therapy is an important tool for treating compulsive exercise.

In therapy, you can explore some of the problematic thinking that leads to compulsive exercise. Therapy can also help you learn how to resist and reduce the urges to compulsively exercise. Finally, working with a therapist can help you improve your relationship with exercise in order to enjoy it with both your physical and mental health in mind.

Are you concerned about your relationship with exercise? If you’re struggling with compulsive exercise, working with a therapist can help. Get in touch today for your free consultation.

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Free Resources for Eating Disorder Recovery

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Eating disorder recovery is tough. Learning about eating disorders can help. I have a great list of free resources.

Are you just getting started with eating disorder recovery? Or do you have a treatment team in place, but are looking for some extra support? Does your teen have an eating disorder and you’re looking for ways to support them (and yourself)? 

Many of these free eating disorder recovery resources are in the form of support groups and mentorship programs. 

Besides being free, the emphasis on connection is another reason why I love these resources. Eating disorder recovery doesn’t occur in a vacuum. We are social creatures, and connection can be especially healing in hard times. 

Eating disorders are really hard to understand. Support groups can help you learn more about eating disorders while feel seen and understood. Eating disorder groups are filled with folks who are going through what you are experiencing and who can relate to your ups and downs. 

Additionally, support groups reduce feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, and isolation. Attending an eating disorder support group can help you find new ways to cope during recovery. 

If you or your teen is in eating disorder recovery, check out these 5 free eating disorder recovery resources: 

1. National Alliance for Eating Disorders

The National Alliance for Eating Disorders is a great resource with lots of information about the treatment of eating disorders. 

According to their website, “The National Alliance for Eating Disorders (formerly The Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness) is the leading national nonprofit organization providing referrals, education, and support for all individuals experiencing eating disorders and their loved ones.”

The Alliance offers free support groups for people with eating disorders and those who love them.  Support groups meet in-person and others meet virtually. 

Click here to learn more about the free support groups offered by the National Alliance for Eating Disorders. For any readers in Austin, TX, there is an in-person group held weekly.

2. F.E.A.S.T.  (Families Empowered And Supporting Treatment for Eating Disorders)

F.E.A.S.T. is an international network to help support caregivers and parents who have a teen with eating disorder. 

The organization was started by parents to help other parents: “We are here because we have been there!  F.E.A.S.T. is an international non-profit organization of and for parents and caregivers of loved ones affected by eating disorders. Our free programs and services offer families much needed support, information, skills, and tools to help them on their journey. F.E.A.S.T. is about parents helping parents, about paying it forward, and about being there for families at a time when they need us the most.”

Be sure to visit the services tabs on their website which links you to forums, guides, videos, and much more. The videos from F.E.A.S.T. are one of my favorite resources. There are videos of family members, who are going through the exact same thing as you. There are also videos from highly regarded eating disorder treatment professionals talking about various treatment topics so you can learn more. 

Be sure to sign up for F.E.A.S.T. 30 Days. It’s a free program that sends you one email a day for 30 days, each including a brief lesson on how to support your teen during recovery. 

3. ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) 

ANAD, or the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, is a non-profit whose mission is to provide free peer support services to anyone struggling with an eating disorder.  

Their website states, “Recovery is possible. ANAD is here to help. ANAD is the leading nonprofit in the U.S. that provides free, peer support services to anyone struggling with an eating disorder, regardless of age, race, gender identity, sexual orientation, or background. Our nationwide network of volunteers understand first-hand the ups and downs of the recovery journey—because they, too, have lived the experience of an eating disorder. ANAD empowers volunteers to help others through their own recovery.”

ANAD has a helpline where you can get referrals to treatment and get emotional support. In addition to the helpline, ANAD offers a free mentor support program. You can get matched with a peer mentor who has recovered from an eating disorder to help support you through the recovery process. Having a mentor who has already been through it can be extremely helpful in bolstering support, motivation to change, and instilling hope that recovery is possible. 

ANAD also offers free virtual support groups for folks with eating disorders. They offer general support groups as well as groups for specific identities including LGBTQ+, BIPOC, Older Adults, Teens & Young Adults, and People in larger bodies. 

4. Project HEAL

Project HEAL helps to find eating disorder treatment. Access to quality healthcare is not always easy, and there are lots of reasons why most people who deal with eating disorders do not get treatment. The goal of Project HEAL is to help those who the system fails find treatment for eating disorders. 

According to their website, “Project HEAL’s vision is to create a world where everyone with an eating disorder has the opportunities & resources they need to heal. Our programs break down systemic, healthcare, and financial barriers that millions of people in the U.S. face when trying to heal from their eating disorder.”

They provide free services to help you find treatment including:

  • Clinical Assessment Program which helps determine a diagnosis, treatment recommendations, and referrals. 
  • The Treatment Placement Program offers free or very discounted treatment via vetted treatment providers. 
  • Cash Assistance Program Offers recipients a one-time cash assistance grant to help cover the costs of treatment. 
  • Insurance Navigation Program. This program helps people navigate the complexities of insurance. 

5. FEDUP (Fighting Eating Disorders in Underrepresented Populations: A Trans+ & Intersex Collective)

FEDUP is a collective that is made up of trans, nonbinary, intersex, and gender expansive people who view eating disorders through a social justice lens. Their work is focused on eating disorders in marginalized communities – understanding them, treating them, and preventing them. 

Their mission is “to make visible, interrupt, and undermine the disproportionately high incidence of eating disorders in trans and gender diverse individuals through radical community healing, recovery institution reform, research, empowerment, and education”.

They have a wealth of information on their website.  A list of free virtual support groups. FEDUP has an approved list of providers who provide affirming care, and a Treatment Scorecard which scores some of the largest treatment centers in the US on various accessibility criteria. In addition, they provide training and workshops for treatment facilities to become gender-literate. They also have a guide to gender-affirming surgeons with consideration of BMI limits for each surgeon. 

This is just a short list of free and reliable resources to help support you in your eating disorder recovery. I encourage you to explore these resources to see if one is right for you! 

Part of eating disorder recovery is working with a treatment team, which includes a psychotherapist. For more information on how I can help with eating disorder recovery, send me a message.

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Book Review: More than a Body

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Book Review: More than a Body: Your Body is an Instrument, not an Ornament

More than a Body is an important read for those suffering from a negative body image.

Authors Dr. Lexie Kite and Dr. Lindsay Kite (not only sisters, but also identical twins!) are well versed in body image research. Not only do the authors provide a great discussion of what body image is, and how it developed, they deliver an extensive discussion on the influence of society on our body image.

What is this book about?

Lexie and Lindsay provide a framework of body image disturbance and postulate that objectification, both historically and current, of women (and with increasing frequency, boys’ and men’s bodies) is one of the main causes of body image disturbance.

That is, we are trained to focus on how our bodies are seen by others versus what our bodies can do.

In turn, we internalize this message and begin to self-objectify our own bodies. This self-objectification shifts our attention to how our bodies look instead of how we feel in our bodies.

As you can imagine, self-objectification can lead to being preoccupied with the way our bodies look, including increased body comparison and body checking in mirrors.

This shift of our energy and awareness from how our bodies feel to how our bodies look takes up a lot of time and energy, and just leads to feeling badly about yourself and your body.

It often starts from a young age, because a lot of media promotes cultural standards of beauty, even still in 2022. The message has always been that it doesn’t matter how you feel in your body, it matters how the world around you sees your body.

The authors of More Than a Body put forth that women are conditioned to first define themselves by how their body looks and second that they are people with inherent worth.

In a way, the messaging is getting more troubling. Slowly but surely, companies are starting to get the message that appealing to old-school body insecurities doesn’t create as much of a profit as it used to. Instead of being loud about weight loss or fat shaming, companies now try to appeal to people by using language taken from the body positivity movement.

We’ve seen brands like Weight Watchers change their name to WW in an attempt to move their image away from weight loss to “lifestyle change”, while still promoting intentional weight loss and a disordered approach to eating. Everything is still reduced down to the way people look, and not their inherent value as humans.

In order to heal from negative body image, the authors urge us to internalize that we are people first. And our bodies know that we are inherently good.

What did I like about this book?

Importantly, the authors do acknowledge that most body image research is done on cis, white, and often straight-sized bodies. They also discuss weight bias and its harmful effects in addition to discussion on historically marginalized bodies.

The authors’ discussion of the body positivity movement is especially insightful.

They acknowledge that the body positivity movement has expanded the types of bodies (read: size) that are deemed socially acceptable. However, the body positivity movement is flawed because it still focuses on the objectification of women’s bodies.

The idea itself that bodies are to be looked at and objectified is problematic, because who we are as people goes so far beyond what our bodies look like. Having more bodies that we decide as a society are acceptable to look at does nothing to solve the problem of objectifying bodies in the first place, it just adds to the objectification taking place.

The Drs. Kite propose that the only way to improve body image is to eliminate self-objectification and connect with our bodies for what they do for us over how they look. This can be pretty tough to do in the age of social media advertising and diet culture.

The tagline of this book, “Your body is an instrument, not an ornament,” resonates with me as a woman, and in my work with clients.

It is a great mantra to keep at the top of your mind to shift your focus from how your body looks to what your body does for you.

The book is lengthy and provides more of a framework of why we are fraught with negative body image rather than provide solutions for body image problems. I appreciated that the authors used vignettes to explain their work, and they often cite research to back up what they’re saying.

If you’re looking into the background of where negative body image comes from and want to learn more, this book will be an interesting read for you. If you’re looking for actionable solutions for body-image problems, this book might not be what you’re looking for.

Who should read this book?

I would recommend this book to:

  • clinicians who treat people with body image disturbance
  • parents & caregivers who want to learn more about how to raise children with healthy body image
  • those who suffer from body image disturbance
  • folks who are in the later stages of eating disorder treatment

Although this book is better than some at expanding the body image discussion past cis, white, straight size, abled bodies, the fact that it is more than likely aimed at this audience (rather than the marginalized bodies it briefly focuses on) it is one of the limitations of the book.

The authors have developed an online course (which I have not taken) as another body image resource. But, I also hope that they consider developing a workbook to accompany this book to help guide folks through the difficult process of connecting with our bodies for what they do over how they look.

Are you curious to learn more about the authors of this book and their perspective on body image?

Here is a link where you can hear Dr. Linsday Kite speak on body image – this video also gives a solid introduction to the book.

Understanding your body image and where it comes from is key in eating disorder recovery. If you’re looking for more support in changing your body image, please click here to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with me.

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5 Tips for College Students in Eating Disorder Recovery

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Starting a new semester (or starting college for the first time) is associated with many positive feelings and excitement. However, along with these positive feelings, college students may experience feelings of isolation, worry, and sadness that often come along with major life transitions.

Unfortunately, these feelings may worsen eating disorder symptoms for college students who are struggling. When you’re already under stress from school and new social situations, it can be tricky to get a handle on your eating disorder symptoms or to move forward in your eating disorder recovery.

Why is it hard for college students to maintain eating disorder recovery?

Increased demands + independence

Returning to college, or going for the first time is exciting! It’s often a breath of fresh air to see friends you haven’t seen all summer, move into your new home for the year, and get into the swing of a new semester of classes. The taste of freedom and independence that college offers is hard to beat! 

If you have already experienced some time at college, though, you know that gaining independence also means more responsibility–which at times can be overwhelming. If you’re attending college for the first time, it’s normal to feel both excited at the opportunity for independence and totally overwhelmed by what that independence means. 

It can be challenging to set boundaries for yourself while managing-the demands of being a student, your social life, caring for yourself, and recovery. Increased demands often mean increased stress, which often is associated with an uptick in eating disorder symptoms.

Changes in Routine

When in recovery for an eating disorder, changes in routine can be tough to deal with. Routines allow for some comfort and dependability. When we have a routine, we know what to expect and when to expect it. It cuts down on the level of uncertainty or stress we feel about the unknown. College students often find that it takes a few weeks or longer to figure out their new routine.

Routines also have very practical uses in recovery. They affect meal planning, treatment appointments, sleeping habits, and more, all of which play a role in recovery! Navigating a new routine can be challenging, and can feel overwhelming. Giving care and consideration to what your new routine will be and how it works for you is important. 

Diet culture on Campus

On a college campus, you’ll be surrounded by other young people, who are also surrounded by the constant messaging on social media about diet and beauty standards. 

Gyms on campus may be full of college level athletes training in ways that other folks who don’t need intense conditioning for a sport shouldn’t be pushing themselves to compete with. 

You might be surrounded by fear of the “freshman fifteen”, or feel pressure to skip meals to study for exams with other students. The culture around food and exercise on a college campus may not be the healthiest one. It’s important to prepare for that with a counselor beforehand so you have coping mechanisms you can use when the need arises. 

Are you wondering what you can do to support eating disorder recovery at the start of a new semester? Here are 5 things college students can do to stay on track with eating disorder recovery.

1. Continue care with your eating disorder treatment team

It’s important to continue the work you’re already doing with your eating disorder treatment team as you transition back to school. The start of a new semester means a changing schedule, routine, and living situation in many cases. Making sure you have the support of your treatment team can help you weather these changes so you can have the best experience possible at schoo.

If you don’t have a treatment team a good place to start is your college health center. Most colleges don’t provide long-term counseling for eating disorders, but they can put you in touch with providers in the community that can support you throughout the school year so you can get the help you need. 

2. Establish a routine

Remember, routines help us all, but they especially help folks with eating disorders. Routines give us peace of mind, comfort, and help us stay on track with eating, which is a crucial part of recovery. 

Just as I am sure it took some time to establish a summer routine, it will take a bit for you to establish a school routine as you find what works for you and your needs. Be patient with yourself!

3. Get to know other college students

Support is crucial in recovery, not just from your treatment team but from the people you care about. It’s easy to get so into your school routine that you forget about reaching out to your friends regularly. Make sure to check in with yourself often to see if you are getting enough socializing in (or if you are getting too much – alone time is also important for self-care). 

If you are new to campus or find yourself feeling isolated consider joining a club. Most campuses have tons of clubs and organizations that cater to a variety of interests and skills for college students. Consider joining a club for fun and a club that has to do with your major to start with so you meet a good mix of people from inside and outside of your academic department.

4. Go to class

This may sound like a no-brainer. But, it feels like since the pandemic more universities still have a fair amount of classes online. If you have a choice, consider taking all of your classes in person. We’ve done enough online for the last two years. It’s also hard enough to concentrate at times, especially in the middle of a lecture, and it can be even trickier to focus when you have all the distractions of home around you.

Actually stepping foot in the classroom can help you get more in the school mindset, and it can also be a great way to meet other college students.

Additionally, I know it is very enticing to skip classes at times (after all, most professors don’t take an attendance grade). It’s always tempting to get a few more hours of sleep or to use your time for something else, but skipping class has some drawbacks.  Missing classes often makes us feel more depressed, isolated, and guilty instead of relieving stress.

5. Practice good self-care 

What’s your self-care routine? It’s important to remember that you’re worthy of being taken care of. Self-care can include getting your nails done, taking a hot bath, or using a face mask. It can also include things like getting enough sleep, taking your medication, setting boundaries, and having hard conversations.

We often have an idea of self-care as fun little treats or splurges, but self-care isn’t only about spending money. It’s about taking care of your emotional and physical needs. 

Self-care can mean different things at different times. Sometimes it might mean decompressing by yourself in front of the TV. Other times it might mean making time for friends and social events with other college students. Try to check in with yourself regularly and ask what your self-care needs are at the moment. Remember, it’s not selfish to take care of yourself- it’s necessary.

Navigating school while in eating disorder recovery can be challenging for college students, but it can be done especially with some planning and the support of a treatment team. If you’re interested in learning more about how I can support you as part of your eating disorder treatment team, contact me here.

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Finding Support as the Parent of a Child with an Eating Disorder

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It’s not easy to be a parent or caregiver for someone who is struggling with an eating disorder, at any age.

Parenthood is often described as having your heart walk around outside of your body, so watching your child struggle with such a complicated disorder can be heartbreaking. It’s scary to feel like your child needs help beyond what you can give.

Eating disorders don’t go away without being treated. It is essential for your child to begin treatment for their eating disorder so they can get relief from the distress they are feeling.

As a parent or caregiver, you are an important pillar of support for your child as they go through eating disorder recovery.

Eating disorders are complicated, and we often don’t learn much about them until someone we know is dealing with one. Much of the ‘common knowledge’ out there about eating disorders are actually myths, like that eating disorders only affect teen girls or that they’re not that serious. Eating disorders don’t discriminate by age or gender- anyone can develop an eating disorder. In fact, a common risk factor for developing an eating disorder is a history of dieting.

As the caregiver of someone with an eating disorder, you naturally want to do what you can to help your child through this. Learning more about eating disorders can help you understand what your child is going through, and connecting with other caregivers can give you an opportunity to feel supported yourself. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Here are some resources for caregivers of children with eating disorders:

Eating Disorder Books For Caregivers:

The following books give practical strategies for families supporting their loved one with an eating disorder. They are all using a family-based treatment (FBT) approach to treating an eating disorder.

Family-based treatment empowers the family to help support their child through nutritonal rehabilitation and eating disorder behaviors.

Support Groups + Other Resources for Caregivers

Here are a list of support groups for caregivers. Many families find it helpful to learn that they are not alone in their struggle.

FEAST Resources

Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment for Eating Disorders (Feast) is a non-profit that supports caregivers and loved ones with eating disorders. FEAST provides free support to caregivers around the world:

  • FEAST’s First 30 Days Educational Service
    • Information delivered right to your inbox on how to care for your loved one.
    • “We want to change the course of a family’s caregiving journey in 30 days. These 30 days of lessons are meant to start the family on a new course of empowerment and good information. Over the 30 days you will learn about eating disorders, caregiving, and the resources available for ongoing learning. We will introduce you to the resources and the peer support of our worldwide community.
  • Forums to get support from other caregivers
    • “This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.”
  • Webinar Series that frequently feature leading researchers and experienced clinicians in the field.
  • FEAST’s Parents Do Not Cause Eating Disorders Info Page
      • This statement may seem obvious, but it is the sad history of eating disorder treatment that parents are sometimes still blamed or feel blamed when a loved one develops an eating disorder. For those families suffering from guilt, from feeling blamed, or unsure of who to believe on this topic, here are some things to keep in mind.”

Are you looking for more ways to support your child as they recover from their eating disorder? Working with a treatment team is the gold-standard for eating disorder recovery, as eating disorders impact health in many ways, from physical to mental health.

Part of a treatment team for eating disorders is a psychotherapist. For more information on how I can help, send me a message.

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Parents: An Essential Part Of Eating Disorder Treatment

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To all the parents out there: you are an important part of your child’s eating disorder treatment team! This is true even if your child is no longer a child, but a young adult or an adult. Even if you don’t live with your child, you have an important role to play in eating disorder recovery. 

Why are parents + caregivers so important in eating disorder recovery? 

Therapists, doctors, and dietitians are must-haves on any eating disorder treatment team. But parents have an important role to play too! Here are a few reasons why parents are important in the recovery process:

  • You spend much more time with your child than the treatment team does. As a therapist, I may spend one to two hours a week with your kiddo, you spend dozens of hours!
  • You are usually involved in feeding or making sure that your teen is fed.
  • You have a relationship with them. They trust and love you. If you are a parent of a teen, I know it may not always feel like it, but it is true!
  • You know your child better than anyone else!

Where do eating disorders come from?

Eating disorders are thought to function as a way to cope with uncomfortable feelings. Feeling distressing emotions is, well, distressing. Eating disorders often develop as a coping mechanism to avoid feeling those painful feelings. It’s possible to learn new ways to cope to manage those distressing feelings. 

As a parent, you can learn tools to help your child manage their feelings without using the eating disorder to cope.

When you hear this you may feel like a deer caught in the headlights. 

  • You may be thinking, “Yeah right! I can’t even get through a conversation with my teen without it turning into a fight.” 
  • Or maybe you’re thinking, “I can’t get them to say more than a few words to me.” 
  • You may even be throwing your arms up in exasperation because your kiddo is in total denial of their eating disorder.

If your child has an eating disorder, you may be feeling a range of emotions all of which are okay. You might feel anger, worry, sadness, resentment, disbelief, panic, and hopelessness, to name a few. And you may be feeling no way equipped to help your child recover from an eating disorder, but you are wrong.

Historically, parents weren’t always involved, and at times even discouraged to participate, in the treatment of eating disorders. In recent years, we are learning that parents can be a really powerful tool in their kid’s recovery process. This holds true not just for eating disorders, but for all mental health conditions. Parents have an important role to play! 

Parents often blame themselves or feel responsible for their child’s eating disorder.

I haven’t met a parent or loved one who doesn’t want what is best for their loved one – to be happy and live a productive, healthy life.

Let me be clear: you are not to blame for your child’s eating disorder. 

Eating disorders are complex. They develop for a variety of different reasons including social, biological, and psychological factors. For example, did you know that being a girl or a history of dieting are risk factors for developing an eating disorder?

As an eating disorder therapist + dietitian, I encourage parents to focus less on why their child has an eating disorder, and more on eliminating the eating disorder. 

For example, if your child developed cancer you would spend less thought on why she got it, but more on getting her good treatment.

While you are not to blame for your child’s eating disorder, you certainly can be part of the treatment and solution. Often, parents don’t feel equipped to help their children recover. Parenting is hard, and parenting a teen with an eating disorder has a unique set of challenges. 

You are right you may not have the eating disorder knowledge (yet!) to help. But, you do have a special connection and bond with your child that is so powerful in the treatment of eating disorders.

Some parents report that their kids don’t want help for their eating disorder, or even that they are in denial about their eating disorder. Certainly, this feels like it is true, but it is not. 

Remember eating disorders are a way for your child to cope with discomfort. Yep that’s right – just like their lovey or security blanket that they had as a kiddo! The disorder is serving a purpose, even if it’s not a healthy way to cope. Since the disorder is filling a need, it might seem like on the surface, your child doesn’t want to acknowledge or deal with it. However, living with an eating disorder can be a miserable existence. Your child deserves better!

Now that I have (hopefully) convinced you that you are an important part of your teens recovery, you may be asking yourself how do I help my teen? 

Here are a few tips to get you started.

  1. Get educated about eating disorders. Here are specific resources for parents.
  2. Make sure that your teen has a complete treatment team.
  3. Verbalize to your teen that while you don’t have all the answers, eating disorders are serious mental health conditions, treatment is needed, and that you are going to be there every step of the way to support them.

Are you looking for more ways to support your child as they navigate eating disorder recovery? Please feel free to book a free 15 minute phone call with me to learn how to better support your teen as they navigate an eating disorder.