Dads play an important role in helping daughters develop a positive body image
If you are a Dad of an adolescent girl, unfortunately, you may have heard your daughter say something like, “I am so ugly” or “I hate my thighs, they are so fat”. You may have stared at her like a deer in headlights. Or perhaps offered her well-intended advice such as “just cut down on carbs if you are worried about becoming fat” or offered re-assurance to her such as “You are not fat, you are beautiful just how you are”. Unfortunately, societal pressure to look a certain way for boys and men is becoming more common. For girls and women, it is a
Unfortunately, societal pressure to look a certain way for boys and men is becoming more common. For girls and women, it is a societal norm to experience & talk about body dissatisfaction. Girls and women are inundated with media images about how they “should” look.
What is body image?
Body image it is how we think about our bodies, not necessarily how our bodies actually look. The typical societal solution to not liking your body is to change it. However, body size and shape are under substantial genetic control. Americans spend hundreds of hours and billions of dollars trying to change how they look. Furthermore, trying to change your body is a bottomless pit. For girls and women, no matter what we look like society tells us to try harder.
For teens, their bodies are growing, therefore dieting & extreme exercise can interfere with the normal growth process. Studies show that poor body image in teens can lead to inactivity, unhealthy eating such as purging, weight gain, and eating disorders. Dads can be a powerful resource in helping daughters develop a positive body image. Often Dads are the most significant male figures in their girls’ lives.
Tips to help your daughter develop a positive body image:
1. Take stock in how you feel about your own body and women’s bodies in general. What things do you say aloud about your own body or others? You may think your daughter is not listening, but trust me she is. Promote body diversity by statements that reflect that bodies come in different sizes, shapes, and heights. Refrain from judgment about one body being better than another.
2. Become familiar with changes that occur during puberty and teach your daughter about these changes. During puberty, girls are at higher risk of developing an eating disorder and body image disturbance. Having conversations with your daughter about the normative changes that occur during puberty can be helpful (I know you may get some pushback from your daughter in the form of eye rolls, but trust me she is listening!). Girls go through puberty at different ages and for lengths of time. Puberty can start as early as 8
Girls go through puberty at different ages and for lengths of time. Puberty can start as early as 8 years old or as late as 13 years old. Puberty can last as short as 1.5 years up to 6 years. Weight gain and changes in shape of body are normal parts of puberty. Weight gain is needed in order to support the growth of breasts, initiation of a menstrual cycle and support height growth (up to 3.5 inches per year!).
3. Teach your daughter about media literacy. In other words, talk with your daughter about the images that she sees of other girls and women in magazines, on TV and on social media. Let her know that those images are altered or “photo-shopped”. And in some cases, models and actresses engage in extreme dieting before their photo shoot. In other words, photo-shoots and TV appearances do not reflect how woman and girls look in real life. You may assume she already knows this, which may or may not be true, hearing it from you can be extremely powerful.
4. Help your daughter challenge her thoughts about her own body. Unfortunately, it has become normative in our society to engage in “fat talk”. It is socially acceptable for women and girls, to engage in negative talk about foods eaten, body weight of self or others. If you are reading this you may have already heard your daughter say disparaging remarks about her body such as “My thighs are fat”. A well-intended reply to that statement is to say something like “No they are not”. Instead of offering reassurance try to explore the meaning behind her statement. A simple “Tell me more about that” can be a great conversational starter. Or, “Sounds like you may be concerned about your body”.
Avoid these pitfalls:
5.Don’t model dieting or encourage your daughter to diet as it can lead to problematic eating & exercise behaviors and even a full-blown eating disorder.
6. Don’t confuse health with size. Most of our public health campaigns send the message that in order to be healthy one needs to be thin. This is a controversial subject in the healthcare community. Widen the definition of health as a parent. And promote health behaviors (weight is not a behavior) such as getting adequate sleep, wearing sunblock, using a seat belt every time in the car, setting firm boundaries with dating, being physically active, etc.
Your daughter is swimming upstream so to speak with societal pressures to look a certain way to be accepted. As a Dad, you are in a unique and powerful position to help her navigate these pressures.
Do you want to learn more? Or if you think your daughter may have an eating disorder please call me for a free phone consultation at (512) 293-5770.
